Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
