what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
