Me. At least after what I've been through.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
