Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
