Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
