I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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