You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
