Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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