come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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