Is it normal to miss your booty call?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
