yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
