I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
