Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
