Don't you send me to vm
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
