Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
