pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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