Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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