We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So much rum. So many feels.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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