Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
