Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
