SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
