Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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