one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize