Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my being single is dangerous.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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