you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
