he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
