Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
a search helicopter?!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
