Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
