I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
