I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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