Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
