i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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