Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
