I want to stick my p in your. b.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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