i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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