I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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