dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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