If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
