Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
