ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
