Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
