there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
