The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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