saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
being pregnant is like rehab
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
