I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
