3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
please come you make the beer taste better
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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