So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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