I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
