I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Small penises have feelings too.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
