But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
