he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
