is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
